I Hate Mother’s Day

Ever since my mom passed away 13 years ago, I’ve hated Mother’s Day. Instead of Mother’s Day reminding me of the kind of mother I had, it was the day that reminded me of what I didn’t have.

That I didn’t have a mom to go shopping with.

That I didn’t have a mom to call up for a recipe.

That I didn’t have a mom to help me pick out a wedding dress.

That I didn’t have a mom who could be there when my first baby was born.

That I didn’t have a mom to ask how in the world she ever raised 7 children while I’m barely keeping up with 2.

You see, Mother’ Day was just not a happy holiday.

And that was when I deleted the holiday out of my year.  Me? A girl who loves holidays? Yes. Sure it still existed, but I skipped over it.  It wasn’t because I didn’t want to remember and honor my mom: the most festive, loving, thoughtful, selfless person I knew. The sadness was just too hard to bear.

But then I became a mother. 

And it happened. I loved like I had never loved before. A love so deep and indescribable that I would do anything for that little person no matter what they ever did.

And that is when the magic of Mother’s Day started to slowly forge its way into my closed heart.

Because instead of focusing on what I didn’t have, I could finally celebrate something after all.

I could celebrate the joy of being a mother to my 2 adorable children, Blake and Evelyn.

Because of the example of my mom, I hope my children will one day say:

It was mom who picked me up when I was down.

It was mom who found the good in everything.

It was mom who was there for me when I wanted a story read, trains to be played with, or bugs to catch.

It was mom who tucked me into bed and kissed me goodnight.

It was mom who celebrated even the littlest things, because there is so much in life to celebrate.

It was mom who loved me and was my biggest fan.

To my own mom and the many other women who have been a mother in my life, thank you for your wonderful example of what a mother’s love can do.

To all you women out there:

I hope that Mother’s Day will be a day of peace. Peace if you have lost your mom. Peace if you have not yet had the blessing of becoming a mom. And maybe a few peaceful moments all to yourself if you are a mom.

Happy Mother’s Day!